InsaneJournal

Current location:	in my second bedroom/office
Current mood:	confused
Current music:	swamp cooler, ceiling fan, wind
Entry tags:	moving, stress

Stress
It was my idea to move to Denver, and completely change my life. So, why am I stressed about it? I'm not packing my things, because I am physically unable to. Everything has been arranged already, by me. Phone is being hooked up, DSL line is being transferred, I ordered cable, I put the electricity in my name. I have a list of things that need to be bought. What the hell is my problem?!

I think it's because this will be the first time I've lived away from my parents. Yes, I'm 32 years old and finally moving away from my parents. I have not lived in the same house as them for 7 years...but they live close to me.

I'm scared. Maybe because I'm disabled, and for the first time in my life I won't be able to call my mother and have her at my house in 20 minutes or less. If I have to call 911 because my heart rhythm is wonky, or I fall, or I suddenly can't walk because of my MS...she's not going to be able to meet the ambulance at the ER. She'll either have to make an over 6 hour drive or get on an airplane to get to me. I'm scared.

I'm also scared that I won't be able to do this, and I am going to end up coming back here with my tail between my legs, and have to hear about it for the rest of my life. Some of my family members can be a little on the abusive side. Sometimes I'm not sure they realise they are being abusive. And sometimes I think they get some sort of sadistic pleasure out of it. I'll never really know the answer to that. I probably don't want to know.

At least I got to have some "retail" therapy today. I got a new skirt and a pair of earrings for less than $10! I'm happy! ;)

I think my major lack of sleep is catching up to me. I'm going to try to catch a nap before my friend Jarrod comes over!